Transitions

Life is full of transitions, with any luck we will have many along our way! However, we (in western culture) are typically not taught about transitions or even to expect them.

When I was a child, I had this idea of adulthood: I would become an adult. I would find a job. I would establish a life. And this is the person I would be. What I am learning through my several decades of so-called adulthood is that this is far from the case. We can continue to grow and change and evolve. We can discover new parts of ourselves. This might lead us to unexpected places and futures. This is the natural course of our journey, and if we resist it then we risk hardening against the flow of life. I could rewrite those last few sentences beginning with “We can” and replace them with “We must”. I wish someone had told me these things.

Looking back, the first big transition I navigated was moving out of my parents’ house. Looking back, I paid absolutely no mind to the cataclysmic nature of this transition, and I received very little guidance to boot. Some of us go to college, where there is some sense of holding. In hindsight the picture I have is of me being flung out into the world with very little preparation about how to stay grounded in myself in this new environment. I think about extending grace to that person, and I can feel them respond back with gratitude.

One thing I am learning about transitions currently is that they just take time. Sometimes it is a frustratingly long amount of time. What can we do during these times to soothe our goal-oriented minds? How can we create space and support to be in transition, in a state of not-knowing? What are things that you can do to support the core of you?